It’s common knowledge around the world that German people love their beer. And they have every right to. The Reinheitsgebot, or purity laws regarding the brewing of beer, have made it so that German beer is of the best quality (it’s also vegan). This could, of course, be a personal bias, but for the sake of right now, let’s just go with it.
Now of course then, it makes sense that Germans can totally drink. Anytime, anywhere. In private, in public. And. I. Love. This.
Let me share a few examples of scenarios in America where this would come in handy:
Imagine you’re getting ready for a night out. It could be a concert with friends, or a date with a hot new dude, or a dinner with family members (depends which family members). Regardless, you need a drink. Not when you arrive at the venue or restaurant or in-law’s home, but before. Because whether you need to loosen up or muster courage or drown yourself in apathy, alcohol is the only way to do that. So you open a beer, and the phone rings, or the doorbell rings, or your ride is waiting for you. And you’re only halfway through that beer. So you have to chug it (no one wants to do that) or set it aside in the fridge (where it will likely loose the fizz and the flavour). But in Germany? Just take it with you. You’re set. Problem solved.
Another example is you’re heading to a business where they sell alcohol, but you’ve only budgeted so much. You have $15 in your pocket you’ve allotted for the evening’s drinking, but doing the math, you realize that’s $5 a beer, plus 50 cents or $1 tip per drink. Which is probably $18 if you’re not a cheapskate. Which means you can only have two beers. Or three really shitty ones. Of course you can buy a 40 at the grocery store and drink it in the car, but hey, that’s illegal. But wait. In Germany, pregaming or carbar? Not illegal. In fact, totally normal. And since you probably don’t have a car anyway if you live in Germany, then buy a beer for much cheaper at the store, open it with the provided beer openers at the counter, and drink it on the sidewalk/train. Hell, buy a couple for the road, and drink outside the venue or the bar you’re planning on going to. Because everyone knows it’s much cheaper to buy beer than to buy it at a bar or venue or restaurant.
OK, so now pretend it’s the end of the night, and you want to drink. But wait, it’s 4 a.m. And if you live in certain states, the alcohol dispensary closed hours and hours ago. And if you live in California, it closed at 2 a.m. So you’re S.O.L. But wait again, you’re not in the United States, you’re in Germany, and thank goodness for the Spätkauf. Translated: late buy. Yes, you can go here at most any hour of the day or night, and buy ice cold refrigerated beer! And then! You can open it. And drink it. On the sidewalk, in the street, at a park. At 4 in the morning.
Seriously, what is not to love about this?Leave a Comment