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Author: natalye

Never Fit in, Never Give in, This Is the Life We Chose

Well, we made it through the last four years, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who, on Wednesday evening, exhaled so much of the stress and trauma and anger that had been building up since 2016. We watched the live stream of the inauguration, and it felt so nice to be talking freely about politics with our son and not having to explain how the president is “a mean person.” Because for all his faults, Biden is decent. And how about that Amanda Gorman?! Just wow. Anyway, I really would have loved Warren or Sanders to win, but here we are, and it’s at least a step in the right direction — though we’ve got a long way to go.

In other news, it got pretty cold at the beginning of the week, but we braved the -4C weather on Monday to go on two walks, which took us past the icy canal and to two different playgrounds. Another day we went to the post office to mail letters. When we set out, it was raining, and when we made our way back home, it was snowing. Yet another day we rode our bikes to speech therapy and back, and to the bakery and back.

When we’re not getting our daily dose of fresh air, we’re slowly plodding through our reading lessons, or writing letters and postcards to friends, or playing copious amounts of UNO, or making and cleaning up messes, or doing art, or listening to the Schaun das Schaf theme song on repeat…

The kid is missing his friends a lot this time around. Back in the first lockdown, he was so happy to be home with us and didn’t really worry about other people, but he’s asked when he can go back to KiTa and we can see in his behavior that he’s really struggling not having regular interaction with his peers. Still, we don’t see this changing anytime soon, and I foresee another couple months (at least) of a hard lockdown, so we’re just trying to do what we can — like everyone I guess.

I made some good progress on my reading goal, and I’m at 10 books. My favorites thus far have been “Conjure Women” by Afia Atakora and “Luster” by Raven Leilani. I’ve also got a handful of graphic novels/comics under my belt, as I’m trying to read more of those this year.

Yesterday we had some phenomenal weather — 11C! — so I went on a bike ride and it was sooooooo nice. Berlin winters can be so cold and wet and gray, so it’s nice to have a day or two every once in awhile that gives us a bit more hope. Most of my riding this year has been indoors, but I’ve already logged 325km, so I’m steadily plugging away at my goal of 5,000km for the year.

In other news, I’ve had a lot more time to cook and it’s been wonderful, and something I really miss when I don’t have the time for it. My most favorite creation lately has been these baked tofu lettuce wraps with spicy peanut sauce from love & olive oil. I could eat that sauce on its own… it’s soooo good. I also made the tofu chévre from Keepin’ It Kind for the first time in years, and a batch of homemade granola that I devoured so fast I immediately had to make another. I’m not drinking right now, and though I have had a few moments where I’ve thought “I would like a glass of wine,” most mornings I wake up grateful to be clearheaded and not totally exhausted from alcohol messing with my sleep. These days I’m getting by with a lot of black coffee, a lot of sparkling water, and a can of Diet Dr. Pepper each day. And I can see myself incorporating alcohol back into my life at some point, maybe in a month or two, but right now it just doesn’t serve me.

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